It’s Father’s Day Sunday, (19th June, 2011) but I won’t be sending a card.
It’s been 21 years since I last saw him … I waived him and my Mum goodbye at the train station. They were going to London to visit my sister.
He was a gentle ‘giant’ of a man. At 6’ 2”, size 11 feet, big, big hands, you knew you were safe when he held you in them. He cooked the best ever egg and chips and always tried to make your dinner look like a picture. Chips would be hair, the egg might be the nose and he would put a trail of baked beans around for a big smile. Kind of heart and kind in nature. I was his ‘Paddy’ (apparently I had a temper as a child) and he was my rock. All my friends loved our parents. They were genuinely very, very nice people and we had a happy childhood.
It is a blessing, that I gave them a grandson. Dad always used to joke that having four girls, mum and even the cat being a ‘she’ was a bit much for him. When we girls married, and he got son-in-laws, he thought all his dreams had come true. The playing field was finally, evenly matched after all these years. When William was born you could see the pride he felt for him. The instant bond of love between them. After all, he was part his flesh and blood too.
Sadly, Dad passed away when William was just 3 years old, but I know what great fun they had together in that short time and how happy he had made his Granddad. I have the memories and photos to remind me.
Grief only stands still until it comes back to haunt you. As I write, the tears fall, as no doubt they will again. I see him looking up at me from his photo and he is smiling. Just how I remember him.
I am lucky. I know he still comes to see me. In my dreams we talk, and he even tucks me into bed and kisses my forehead. I feel these dreams and they make me happy. I love him with all my heart, but a little piece of it is broken. Till we dream again Dad, Happy Father’s Day.
Love Paddy x
To all the Fathers. Happy Fathers Day.